There are days when I wonder about having children.
I have grown up in my life always longing to have children - and even now, work in childcare. I love my job, I love my work (most days - tantrum days not so much) but then I look at our gender-segregated society and wonder what are we teaching our kids?
And how could I bring someone into that?
I often hear people say that feminism is no longer needed today - that we live in an equal society. Then I look around and see the wage gap (70 cents for every dollar a man earns - and even less in Atlantic Canada). I see cuts to women's centres. I see sexual violence.
Yesterday there was a news story about a 9-year old girl in Halifax who was fighting to be included in a boys' summer camp that included activities like fishing, hiking, camping and golfing. The alternative to the boys-only camp was a girls glamour camp that included activities such as manicures and a spa visit.
That is NOT what I want to be teaching my children - that girls are only supposed to learn beauty rituals while boys get to play outdoors. Oh yeah, lets just turn our little girls into sex symbols and glamour girls with no brains before they even hit puberty. And then we wonder what happened to people like Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan and Nicole Ritchie - why the media promotes beauty so much, why they are our children's role models.
Not my children.
And yet my heart still breaks when I remember the day when my niece (now ten years old today) - at that time only 4 years old, started to cry when I offered her some of my lip balm. She cried and cried, repeating "I'm not pretty I'm not pretty, I need more makeup" and my heart broke for her - that at only 4 years old she was already associating her own outer beauty with cosmetics. However unconsciously, that had happened. And my heart broke.
People may have said that the incident in Halifax about the boys-only/girls-only gender-segregated and blatantly stereotyped camp was only an isolated incident and doesn't reflect society. I argue that it entirely reflects society. The fact that the majority of the people in that community thought there was nothing wrong with the gender-segregated and stereotyped camp shows exactly that it does reflect society.
I want children, yes. But I am frightened of bringing them into this world. I look after children whose parents are trying to avoid every gender stereotype possible - and still outside influences invade.
-Artemis.
Equality? Not quite yet.
Just yesterday I took a "for fun" quiz to determine my "personality disorder". It came up with something about a closet, and then made a comment explaining that "I'm in the closet most of the time because all the things women cherish - shoes, clothes, jewelry - it's all in the closet!" I'm completely ad libbing, but it made me want to puke.
Posted by: Khat | May 22, 2008 at 11:17 AM